This is plain old stupid; water costing £9 a bottle!

Friday 17 April, 2015 

  • The world is full of stupid inventions... and silly people who buy them
  • Discover what foolery the rich and famous get up to

  • Why getting into the water habit is a good thing


Todayís story comes straight from my ĎYou really couldnít make it upí file.

This particular section of my extensive resource centre (if thatís what a big pile of newspaper clippings teetering in the corner of my office could be called) is also subtitled ĎOnly for the gullible rich!í

Iíve enjoyed covering several items from this collection in the past such as; where folk have been persuaded to buy cans of fresh air to enrich their polluted atmosphere (a story from China in 2012), an alarm clock in the shape of a dumbbell that you had to lift ten times before it shut off and my all time favourite a treadmill vehicle.

This little beauty had the user running on a treadmill but the whole apparatus was mounted on wheels and the act of working the treadmill created propulsion... why not just run!

It might surprise you to know that it is not April Foolís Day today neither was it when these products were launched Ė they are seriously intended to be sold.

To think the Advertising Standards people get all upset when I mention how good honey is for you!

This has to be a way to tax the stupid

My boiled egg was perfectly cooked, the toast golden and cut into soldiers and running with real butter.

I intended to start my Saturday in style last week.

As I delighted in the iron sharp taste of a truly fresh egg yolk my eye espied a story in the Times which stopped me in my tracks and nearly had me choking on my breakfast.

A double page spread was devoted to a nutritionistís review of bottled waters which all cost over £9 a go.

Nine pounds!

For a bottle of water. Are they serious?

The pages were littered with images of celebrities who swear by their particular favourite way to pay through the nose for a product which falls from the sky... for free.

Apparently the actress Gwyneth Paltrow drinks charcoal water at a mere £14.95 because she believes it is a good way to detox after a heavy weekend and it stops her bloating.

It will certainly slim down her bank balance.

The miniscule Aussie singing sisters of Kylie and Danii Minogue on the other hand are firm favourites of water with an infusion of fulvic acid which is found in peat. This is said to contain 77 trace minerals along with the electrolytes lost in sweat.

At £12.98 for a pack of four I imagine any normal person would be brought out in a cold sweat at the checkout.

My favourite story though was around Leonardo DiCaprio, Taylor Swift and Beyonce who all guzzle away on watermelon water which contains additional calcium, vitamin C and beta-carotene.

This little beauty comes in at an eye-watering £66 for a dozen bottles... couldnít make it up.

If you can provide me with their e-mail addresses Iíve got a consignment of Bristolian Hydrogen-Oxygen rich rehydrating elixir that Iím selling at £40 for six...

...I just need to fill a few bottles from the tap and it can be theirs in a matter of days.

Itís just water folks

I realise that in the last five years most people seem to leave home clutching a bottle of water.

Kids on the bus are all swigging from elegant drinking bottles full of flavoured watery fluids, runners have specially designed containers that they can grip and run along with and every sporting event has grab bottles of French spring water or Italian gassed product freely available for the competitors.

But at the end of the day do our bodies need anything else other than plain old water?

Can anyone justify paying extortionate fees for a bit of clever marketing?

I guess this is the modern world though isnít it.

A time when basic and simple natural products are freely available someone will muscle in and try to make a fast buck out of it.
Water is no different.

Of course if we could rely on what comes out of our taps to be safe life would be easier.

But with the levels of pollutants, toxins and added chemicals increasing in national water supplies it is no wonder that people search for alternatives.

But people, donít go to these stupid lengths just to quench your thirst.
Buy an inexpensive carbon filter and produce your own purified water, flavour it with a squeeze of lemon or a sprig of fresh mint by all means but donít get silly about it.

The Times article referred to these preposterous products as super water...

...I think stupid water is a more apt description!

Get into the water habit though

Getting into the habit of having enough water every day will undoubtedly improve your health though.

I donít want to be accused of forcing people to question whether they should be drinking this vitally important fluid.

Common sense says that we should aim to drink about 2 litres of water a day.

This doesnít mean it has to be plain old water though.
Naturally flavoured drinks like I describe above count, as do green teas, ice cubes and even weak beers...

Strong beers and coffees in moderation are not a problem but you should realise that your body will use more water getting rid of the caffeine and alcohol than it gets from the drink in the first place Ė so be moderate.

And it makes sense to drink a little more on hotter days to help keep your hydration levels correct.

Enjoy the sunshine folks!

Yours, as always






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